Hi guys! I’m still here, plugging away! It’s been a while and I have so much to update you all on! So, forewarning, this is a long one. Obviously, the release of the EP has been postponed several times. [Kevin Hart voice] Let me explain why…
This year has been insane. I had been working an exorbitant amount of hours. (Upwards of 70 hours a week.) There is a fine line between working too much and not enough for me. Either side of that line, I do not fare well at all. It has definitely been a struggle to stay creative every day and push through the exhaustion.
I was putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on myself. I hated introducing myself as a musician and only having one or two song to showcase my talents. I wanted the EP out and out NOW. I wanted to be busting out songs like I used to, before college.
My good friend and amazing musician, Damian (AKA Cellar Doves), told me to cut that out. I want the best representation of me as an artist, not the quickest. So, taking his advice, I continued along and I am so glad I did. I feel just now is where I’ve really made the breakthrough and discovered my own style, learned how to produce work on my own without relying on producers to help, and grown as a person as well as an artist.
Through the process, I felt like I was losing myself. I was suffocating. I felt hollow and useless. I was depressed, felt fat, ugly, sad, and alone. All I was was work.
To keep my head above the water, I joined an online writing seminar through Rebelle Society to jumpstart myself. The course was geared towards making writing and creativity a daily priority—to press reset and get you back to feeling whole. Sadly, I didn't end up even starting it because I was working so much and felt that every spare minute should be spent on music. I finally got to start that program this month. (It is amazing. They’re doing another one for August. I’ve put the link at the bottom.)
I was frustrated trying to find people to produce my music and write with. Everyone was flaking, even though I finally had money to pay for help. I was trying to do it all myself, but didn't know how to take what was playing in my head and make it on the computer. I did YouTube tutorials, but the process was slow and arduous. Everything I was trying to do to save my sanity was failing.
Just before I broke down, I decided to give one final push. My college professor, Christopher James, told me the very first day of art school: "Whenever creativity is lacking or you're struggling, go back to the basics. Throw out everything you know and start from the bones. It's not what you use, it's what you make with it."
And so I did. I went back to what I knew, what I was confident in, and what made me happy. I picked up my pinhole and Holga, bought a digital camera, began shooting video and stills again, joined a poetry forum, took piano lessons, got back into vocal lessons, and lastly, decided to try including loops in my songs. The loops gave me freedom to produce what I had in my head, on my own. I learned how to dissect them and use what I needed out of them.
I feel best when I am creating, naturally. What many don’t understand is that it is literally an integral part of my survival to create everyday. Just as eating and breathing.
As you may have read in my previous blog post, I am now officially a registered trademark! This means that only I can produce music and perform under the name Nyxx! It is fucking freeing, I tell you.
I am also ecstatic to announce that I have a surplus of material for this record! As little as a month ago, I thought I would be struggling to reach six songs. Now, I have to choose which ones will be on the EP and which can wait for shows! Look at that!
Thank you guys for your patience, love, and support! The official release date is now October 13, 2015! I was aiming for September, but with all the extra shit that comes with making a physical record and releasing it, I don't want to rush it. There will be a single released, a video, and shows! Yay! Stay tuned!